NOT YOUR KEYS, NOT YOUR COINS

But are your keys truly secure? Being your own bank requires military-grade security thinking. Test your seed phrase protection, hardware wallet setup, backup strategies, and recovery plans against real-world disasters. Most self-custody fails at the first serious threat.

SELF-CUSTODY STRESS TESTS

Six critical scenarios that expose the weaknesses in most self-custody setups. Each test simulates real conditions where crypto holders have lost everything. Can your security survive when it matters most?

Test #1 INHERITANCE
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Death Recovery Test

Tell your next of kin to retrieve your coins as if you had died. They are only allowed to use the info they have now. No new note or instructions allowed. If you died today they wouldn't have those instructions either.

Common Outcome: Total asset loss for family
Test #2 DISASTER
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Total Destruction Test

Put your phone down and pretend that it, your PC and every single thing in your home/office is destroyed. Now retrieve your coins. Remember, no use of your phone or anything from your home. No paper, no notes, nothing.

Common Outcome: Permanent asset loss
Test #3 VIOLENCE
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Armed Robbery Test

Stop what you are doing & assume 2 or more armed attackers are now at your main premises. Assume they have disabled means for help & assume they will find a safe if you have one. If they threaten violence against you how exactly do you deal with this? What can they get?

Common Outcome: Forced transfer under duress
Test #4 MEDICAL
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Memory Loss Test

Assume that over a period of 3 weeks you suffer from illness, amnesia, dementia or extreme trauma which causes you to forget everything about your current setup. How do you or your loved ones/living assistants rebuild and understand your storage system?

Common Outcome: Cognitive security failure
Test #5 LEGAL
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Government Seizure Test

You speak "misinformation", are a political enemy or are accused of a crime. The government gets a search warrant for your office, home, bank & safe deposit box. Assume they will find any 12 or 24 word pass phrase or private key on the premises. Can an agent sweep it?

Common Outcome: State-level asset seizure
Test #6 EXILE
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Emergency Exodus Test

There is extreme political turmoil in your country and you have 24 hours to pack your bags & move to another country. Assume banks/safe deposit locations are closed. You won't be able to return to your country. Can you bring your coins and access them in a new country?

Common Outcome: Cross-border asset loss

YOUR SELF-CUSTODY IS BROKEN

Prove us wrong. Think your seed phrase is safe? Your hardware wallet secure? Your backup plan bulletproof? Face the exact scenarios that have cost self-custody advocates millions. Memory extraction. Device compromise. Backup destruction. Inheritance nightmares. Test your setup before reality does.

TELEGRAM SIMULATION SOON

WALLET SECURITY MATRIX

Every storage method has a breaking point. Understanding the failure modes of each wallet type is crucial for building a robust security stack. No single method is perfect. The key is layered defense and understanding exactly where each approach fails.

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BRAIN WALLETS

Memory-Based Storage

Concept

Store seed phrases or private keys purely in human memory

Security Promise

"Unhackable" - exists only in your head

Reality Check

Human memory is the weakest link in any security system

Critical Failure Points
  • Torture, interrogation, chemical enhancement
  • Natural memory degradation over time
  • Death takes the secret forever
  • Stress causes memory failures at critical moments
  • No backup if you forget
When They Work

Short-term storage during high-risk travel

When They Fail

Everything else

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PAPER WALLETS

Physical Document Storage

Concept

Print private keys/seeds on paper, store in secure location

Security Promise

Offline, immune to digital attacks

Reality Check

Paper is fragile and obvious

Critical Failure Points
  • Fire, flood, degradation destroy paper
  • Ink fades, paper yellows over years
  • Easily found during searches
  • Single point of failure if only copy
  • Handwriting can be analyzed and traced
When They Work

Short-term cold storage with multiple copies

When They Fail

Long-term storage, single locations, obvious hiding spots

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HARDWARE WALLETS

Dedicated Security Devices

Concept

Purpose-built devices for key storage and transaction signing

Security Promise

Air-gapped security with physical confirmation

Reality Check

Still computers that can be compromised

Critical Failure Points
  • Physical seizure and forensic analysis
  • Supply chain attacks (compromised from factory)
  • Firmware vulnerabilities and exploits
  • PIN extraction through side-channel attacks
  • $5 wrench attack - forced to unlock
When They Work

Daily use with proper OPSEC

When They Fail

High-value storage, nation-state threats, physical coercion

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MULTI-SIG WALLETS

Distributed Control Systems

Concept

Require multiple signatures to authorize transactions

Security Promise

No single point of failure

Reality Check

Multiple attack surfaces, coordination complexity

Critical Failure Points
  • Social engineering of co-signers
  • Coordinated compromise of multiple parties
  • Legal pressure on all parties simultaneously
  • Key management becomes exponentially complex
  • Geographic correlation makes seizure easier
When They Work

Corporate treasury, family inheritance planning

When They Fail

Personal use, emergency access, hostile legal environments

🎭

DECOY WALLETS

Misdirection Systems

Concept

Maintain obvious "dummy" wallets with small amounts while hiding real wealth

Security Promise

Attackers satisfied with decoy, leave real funds alone

Reality Check

Sophisticated adversaries expect decoys

Critical Failure Points
  • Professional interrogators know about decoy tactics
  • Forensic analysis reveals multiple wallet creation
  • Decoy amounts must be believable (expensive)
  • Maintaining operational security across multiple wallets
  • Legal "suspicious activity" if discovered
When They Work

Opportunistic theft, amateur attackers

When They Fail

Professional criminals, state actors, comprehensive investigations

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STEGANOGRAPHIC WALLETS

Hidden in Plain Sight

Concept

Hide wallet data within innocent-looking physical objects, engravings, or digital files

Security Promise

Invisible to casual inspection, survives physical searches

Reality Check

Pattern analysis and thorough searches defeat most hiding methods

Critical Failure Points
  • Metal detectors reveal hidden engravings in objects
  • X-ray scanning shows density variations in modified items
  • Digital forensics reveal hidden data in files
  • Correlation analysis of access patterns
  • Requires technical sophistication and specialized tools
  • Backup and recovery becomes extremely complex
When They Work

Evading casual searches, automated scans, border crossings

When They Fail

Professional searches, advanced imaging, systematic investigations

THE BRUTAL TRUTH

No wallet type survives all attacks.

The question isn't "which wallet is secure?" but "which combination of methods can survive YOUR specific threat model?"

Your enemies adapt.

As wallet technology improves, so do attack methods. Today's cutting-edge security is tomorrow's known vulnerability.

Complexity kills.

The more sophisticated your setup, the more ways it can fail. Every additional layer of security adds potential failure points.

Test or lose.

If you can't access your funds under stress, in the dark, with a gun to your head, then your security is theater, not security.

The only way to know if your setup works is to stress-test it against real scenarios. Theory means nothing when reality comes knocking.